Tone-deaf or finely tuned?

31 Aug Tone-deaf or finely tuned?

‘Turn on, tune in’ may have been a 1960s LSD reference but the heightened experience allured to carries more truth than a wistful float downstream.

Listening is a precious skill most of us fail to practise.

In an age of tone-deaf politicians and braggard marketeers, who view listening as opposed to spouting all kinds of ill-informed rubbish as a weakness not a strength, it can be hard to develop a finely tuned ear.

In their very next breath, those self-same people will often claim to represent the voice of the people, intuitively know what people want or claim to be experts without showing any conspicuous evidence to ever listen. Funny that.

Instead, they guess, they lie and seek to impose their will upon you for their own gain. Stuff you.

Let’s delve into the psychology here. What’s to fear from listening? I mean truly, properly listening, not folks who look at their watch and wait for the other person to shut up so they can have another go.

Simple. They may be wrong. Empirical evidence, detailed research or the human experience may not fit the pre-defined narrative. At worst (for them) they can have their mind changed. To people with low morals and big egos that’s a threat.

Life is often more complicated than we envisage. Gaining wisdom, gathering information, gleaning insight and in particular perception from the power of personal testimony is a fantastic experience.

It is called learning – and is best done by listening. Arming yourself with knowledge is the best weapon you can possess to progress in life.

For 30 years I had the immense privilege of being a multimedia journalist. I often felt an overwhelming sense of wellbeing that flowed through my body as people recalled their real-life experiences, their personal stories – sometimes good, sometimes less so. That they trusted me to tell the tale was a privilege.

The more I listened, the more I learned. The greater the knowledge I gained, the wiser I became for the experience. Sometimes, in cases where people had been wronged, I used it to embolden the questions I put to authorities who’d done people wrong.

Stories also offer inspiration – and we all need a little of that sometimes. When all said and done, we’re a storytelling species. It’s how we communicate. End of.

Not for con artists and braggards though. To these people, listening hurts.

They put their metaphorical fingers to their ears to prevent it from happening. They communicate carelessly – that’s to say, they don’t care what you think, only what they want – be it a vote, your money or to enrage – and they care not how they get it.

And yet communication done best is a two-way exchange.

On one side you have someone with something to say, who encodes a message. On the other, a listener who decodes it.

What you say and how you say it is fundamental to how a message will be deciphered, that’s to say, perceived or understood.

There’s often a gap in the middle – a space where a hand is held out, a mythological olive branch maybe, or a conduit, a forum such as an event, broadcast, or publication. This two-way exchange requires the encoder to also listen.

That’s a problem for ‘in your face’ encoders who try to force their will onto decoders – effectively pushing them to a wall, one hand at their throat, the other sifting their pockets to extract their wallet, take the money out then throw it back and expect the other party to shake hands. Tone-deaf.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

By listening we learn to become better people – whether that’s to shape a rounded opinion, write articles, form policy, or provide products and services that are relevant to people and are presented in a way that makes sense and can even enrich lives.

Listening is a skill we need to consistently fine tune and practise. It is the root of all effective communication.

Learning to Listen – tuning in to check out the vibe of what things being said so we can respond is the theme of our online CGM Business Media Club meeting on Friday, September 29 (10am-midday).

For further information and to book your seat visit our Business Media Club webpage.